28 Funny Dog Quotes Every Crazy Dog Lady Will Get

Speaking as a certified crazy dog lady, I know these funny dog quotes will not disappoint.

They’re sassy, they’re hilarious, and mayyyybe a little too honest (#sorrynotsorry).

It’s why these funny quotes about dogs have been some of the most popular we’ve ever shared on Instagram.

You can even download and share each quote too – we highly encourage you to spread the lols! Think of it as your dog parent duty.

Without further ado, here’s a list of the best funny dog quotes to make you laugh, snort or snicker in agreement…

RELATED: 39 Dog Mom Quotes to Celebrate National Dog Mom’s Day

28 Funny Dog Quotes Every Crazy Dog Lady Can Relate To

“They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog about to puke. Nothing gets you out of bed faster.”

 

“Who else has trouble opening up to people, but will kiss a random dog on the mouth?”

 

“I’ll look at photos of your baby, if you look at photos of my dog.”

 

“Relationship status: Sleeping awkwardly, trying not to disturb the dog.”

 

“I don’t care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives.”

 

“As long as you know I’ll always choose my dogs over you, we’ll get along fine.”

 

“Nothing haunts us like the puppies we didn’t pet.”

 

“Interviewer: So what would you say is your best quality?

Me: My dog.”

 

“Me: Cat people are weird.

Also me: Today’s the day to take my dog to get photos with Santa Claus!”

 

“It’s not that I want 2 dogs…I just want to get my dog a dog.”

 

“Happy dog, happy life.”

 

“I care deeply about like 5 people in my life. And about 500 dogs on Instagram that I’ve never met.”

 

“I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. Except dogs. I want dogs to like me.”

 

“I don’t always talk about dogs. Sometimes I’m asleep.”

 

“Hocus pocus, my dog made me brokus.” Dog mums will relate at Halloween!

 

“Assistant: Do you want the 32gb or 128gb iPhone?

Me: What’s that in dog photos?”

 

“My dog only eats top quality organic dog treats, and it’s own poop.”

 

“My house isn’t messy…it’s custom designed for dogs.”

 

“It’s not drinking alone if your dog is home.”

 

“Is it normal to love dogs more than humans? Asking for a friend.”

 

“Easily distracted by dogs.”

 

“I’m bilingual: I speak English and dog.”

 

“Sometimes I think I’m too fussy. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.”

 

“Sorry I can’t make it. My dog just laid his head on my foot and well, that’s that.”

 

“To all the dogs I haven’t cuddled yet: I’m coming for you.”

 

“If you don’t sign your dog’s name on your Christmas cards, do you even have a dog?”

 

“I may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m thinking about petting my dog.”

 

“My dog winks at me sometimes…and I always wink back in case it’s some kind of code.”

 

Free download: Dog quote screensavers & backgrounds

Give your phone or computer an instant dog-inspired makeover!

Download your most-loved designs from our collection of desktop wallpaper & screensavers for dog lovers.