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28 Funny Dog Quotes Every Crazy Dog Lady Will Get

LOL-worthy thoughts about dogs you'll relate to.

Speaking as a certified crazy dog lady, I know these funny dog quotes will not disappoint.

They’re sassy, they’re hilarious, and mayyyybe a little too honest (#sorrynotsorry).

It’s why these funny quotes about dogs have been some of the most popular we’ve ever shared on Instagram.

You can even download and share each quote too – we highly encourage you to spread the lols! Think of it as your dog parent duty.

Without further ado, here’s a list of the best funny dog quotes to make you laugh, snort or snicker in agreement…

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post may contain affiliate links. If you click one, we may earn a cute commission at no extra cost to you. We only ever recommend products we have personally vetted and think you’ll love as much as we do.

28 Funny Dog Quotes for Dog Moms

28 Funny Dog Quotes Every Crazy Dog Lady Can Relate To

"They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog about to puke. Nothing gets you out of bed faster." Funny dog quotes on Pretty Fluffy

“They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog about to puke. Nothing gets you out of bed faster.”

 

"Who else has trouble opening up to people, but will kiss a random dog on the mouth?"

“Who else has trouble opening up to people, but will kiss a random dog on the mouth?”

 

"I'll look at photos of your baby, if you look at photos of my dog."

“I’ll look at photos of your baby, if you look at photos of my dog.”

 

"Relationship status: Sleeping awkwardly, trying not to disturb the dog."

“Relationship status: Sleeping awkwardly, trying not to disturb the dog.”

 

"I don't care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives."

“I don’t care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives.”

 

"As long as you know I'll always choose my dogs over you, we'll get along fine."

“As long as you know I’ll always choose my dogs over you, we’ll get along fine.”

 

"Nothing haunts us like the puppies we didn't pet."

“Nothing haunts us like the puppies we didn’t pet.”

 

"Interviewer: So what would you say is your best quality? Me: My dog."

“Interviewer: So what would you say is your best quality?

Me: My dog.”

 

"Me: Cat people are weird. Also me: Today's the day to take my dog to get photos with Santa Claus!"

“Me: Cat people are weird.

Also me: Today’s the day to take my dog to get photos with Santa Claus!”

 

"It's not that I want 2 dogs...I just want to get my dog a dog."

“It’s not that I want 2 dogs…I just want to get my dog a dog.”

 

"Happy dog, happy life."

“Happy dog, happy life.”

 

"I care deeply about like 5 people in my life. And about 500 dogs on Instagram that I've never met."

“I care deeply about like 5 people in my life. And about 500 dogs on Instagram that I’ve never met.”

 

"I don't care what anyone thinks of me. Except dogs. I want dogs to like me."

“I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. Except dogs. I want dogs to like me.”

 

"I don't always talk about dogs. Sometimes I'm asleep."

“I don’t always talk about dogs. Sometimes I’m asleep.”

 

"Hocus pocus, my dog made me brokus." Funny Halloween quotes for dog lovers

“Hocus pocus, my dog made me brokus.” Dog mums will relate at Halloween!

 

"Assistant: Do you want the 32gb or 128gb iPhone? Me: What's that in dog photos?"

“Assistant: Do you want the 32gb or 128gb iPhone?

Me: What’s that in dog photos?”

 

"My dog only eats top quality organic treats, and it's own poop." Funny memes about dogs on Pretty Fluffy

“My dog only eats top quality organic dog treats, and it’s own poop.”

 

"My house isn't messy...it's custom designed for dogs."

“My house isn’t messy…it’s custom designed for dogs.”

 

"It's not drinking alone if your dog is home." Instagram captions for dog lovers

“It’s not drinking alone if your dog is home.”

 

"Is it normal to love dogs more than humans? Asking for a friend."

“Is it normal to love dogs more than humans? Asking for a friend.”

 

"Easily distracted by dogs."

“Easily distracted by dogs.”

 

"I'm bilingual: I speak English and dog."

“I’m bilingual: I speak English and dog.”

 

"Sometimes I think I'm too fussy. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop." Funny quotes about dogs to share on Instagram

“Sometimes I think I’m too fussy. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.”

 

"Sorry I can't make it. My dog just laid his head on my foot and well, that's that."

“Sorry I can’t make it. My dog just laid his head on my foot and well, that’s that.”

 

"To all the dogs I haven't cuddled yet: I'm coming for you." Funny dog quotes on Pretty Fluffy

“To all the dogs I haven’t cuddled yet: I’m coming for you.”

 

"If you don't sign your dog's name on your Christmas cards, do you even have a dog?"

“If you don’t sign your dog’s name on your Christmas cards, do you even have a dog?”

 

"I may look like I'm deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm thinking about petting my dog."

“I may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m thinking about petting my dog.”

 

"My dog winks at me sometimes...and I always wink back in case it's some kind of code." Funny dog quotes and captions for Instagram

“My dog winks at me sometimes…and I always wink back in case it’s some kind of code.”

 

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28 Funny Dog Quotes for for Dog Lovers

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Pick of the Week

  • 299 Dogs Puzzle - Uncommon Goods

    299 Dogs & A Cat Puzzle

    Love pups and puzzles? This fun, colourfully illustrated cluster puzzle is fast becoming a hit for dog lovers of all ages.